It’s easy to get lost in the rush of life to the exclusion of those things that make life worth living.
It’s the fight for balancing what you know your entire being needs to do versus those things that have to be done just to keep the car in running condition, for example.
I take my job as a writer seriously. I’ve been writing stories of one kind or another since early adolescence, honing my craft, my particular style of expression, so there is little in the way between what I see in my head and that which appears on the page or computer screen before me.
As I said, this particular form of expression that I need to do seems constantly under assault. Major things—such as two other jobs causing a persistent lack of sleep—no doubt lowered my immune system to some nasty microbial invader’s pleasure thereby, inducing major sinus and ear infections and a simple thing like depression.
I have a part-time job where the holiday hours become fully third-shift, something to which my body and mind never easily adjust. I also physically train people in the evenings, and this further takes its toll on my state of mind and bodily endurance. Life becomes a repetition of wake, work, one to three hours of sleep, and repeat the process.
On top of that, or rather, underlying it, is the anniversary of my father’s death. I say underlying as it is something that creeps up on me over the months like some slow growing algae that soon occludes the clarity of an ocean of thought and feeling.
Brief, firefly blips of memory of his presence start filtering into my waking thoughts, not to mention the longer-standing scenes generated in my dreams. A low energy depression quickly rises to full intensity with lack of sleep, and it becomes a battle to keep from breaking down at times.
Those are the difficulties I willingly share; there are others that shall not see the light of day. Many of us have the same struggles and even worse, so I don’t claim any great standing with regards to them. I simply include them as a background to what I did accomplish this year.
The Write Mind
I include a short timeline of the major writing projects I’ve finished this year. Not too bad considering some of the challenges. There were many other writing projects not included on that timeline, but nonetheless makes me feel pretty good about my path.
It’s the mindset, of course. I tend to go through withdrawal symptoms when I don’t write. There is a general sense of anxiety, a little bit of a strain in me that needs release. I start creating stories out of the simplest things: watching an elderly lady pushing a baby stroller down the street alongside morning rush traffic or hearing a word spoken with emphasis by a friend. Then I have to write the kernel of thought down, as some of them become substantial. I clearly see them even now; their need for telling hasn’t faded. That’s when you know you’ve got something worth visiting later.
My dreams, which are often quite vivid and varied, increase in intensity and depth when I don’t write. Last night I was in the middle of a very complex dream above the sand dunes of ancient Egypt. I won’t go into detail as I will be using that later, but suffice it to say that I felt fully the heat, grit and weariness of people tasked with great labors around me.
My mindset during times of adversity is to continue putting one foot in front of the other: do the work of living. When I attend that line of thought and action, life seems to give me reprieve to write as I need. When I do write, all is well with the world. There is mental and physical relief. I sleep better. I’m lighter in my day and interactions.
I enjoy that I was able to write as much as I did. I have some of those stories behind me now, and they make way for the new ones—of which, there are plenty. I have a backlog of them scrambling for my attention. And, of course, new ones crop up all the time.
I’m rather proud of my latest novel, Dance Here, My Soul. The early reviews I’ve been getting are quite profound in some cases. No one has left the novel without being affected emotionally—and deeply in some cases. I feel good about that. I never know just how my work is going to be received, specifically to what people will or won’t respond. I just have to write the best story in the best way possible, and let the readers take it from there.
Novel For Free
I have the novel available free for people who wish to give me a review. Just contact me through this site, provide an email address and the needed format for the ebook reader you have, and I will send it along. I put it in your hands.